


Macho Boys With Dice

by Privilegedesire (Llama)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Reincarnation, Role-Playing Game, Students
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama/pseuds/Privilegedesire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur wants Merlin to play a wizard. Merlin wants to play anything but. Everyone else wishes they'd get a room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Macho Boys With Dice

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place entirely at sessions of a University Games Club. If you're not familiar with tabletop roleplaying you can find some info [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabletop_role-playing_game). Basically the GM (gamesmaster) creates a story and the players help tell it by playing characters and by rolling dice to perform actions and interact with each other and non-player characters. Terms used that might not be familiar: Player's Guide – book of information that helps players choose and put together their character. Paladin – holy warrior type thing. 'Locksmith' - euphemism for 'thief'. Botches or critical failures – in some systems rolling very high (or low) on the dice can have catastrophic effects. Not surprisingly, these occasionally world-ending failures are the things that live on in legend forever for most gamers. Oh, and 'Macho Women With Guns' is real, as is the skill mentioned.
> 
> Written for Merlin Games 2012 for Team Reincarnation.

**Macho Boys With ~~Swords~~ Dice**

_There once was a locksmith named Glam  
Whose skills were a bit of a sham  
Her excellent picks  
Might as well have been sticks  
So we used her head as a ram._

Merlin grabbed the pencil out of Arthur's hand before he could deface poor Glam's character sheet any further.

"That's defamation, that is," he said, glaring at the most annoying best friend anyone ever had to suffer. He didn't know why he put up with this week after week. He should go and play Star Trek. Arthur hated Star Trek. Something about it being not okay to hand wave the science no matter what it said in the rules… something like that. Merlin usually stopped listening at that point.

He really should go and play something else, if only for a few weeks, and he threatened to all the time. But somehow it never happened.

"Because you _like_ him," Gwen always said, because she also sucked as a best friend in her own special way.

Merlin would maybe find Glam's crappy luck as amusing as everyone else did if it wasn't the same with every character he played lately. The dice, or perhaps just fate, apparently hated him.

"Defamation? It really, really isn't," Arthur scoffed. "She's completely useless, and you know it." He leaned over the table and stole another pencil from Gwaine, along with his precious last handful of pistachios, which was why seconds later the game was on pause while the pair of them wrestled across the floor of Physics Lecture Room 42B.

"You know he's going to keep giving you grief until you play a wizard," Gwen said from his other side. "Why don't you try it, just the once? Maybe he'll leave you alone after that."

"You mean when he sees I'm crap at playing those too?" Merlin pulled a face. "Thanks, Gwen."

"No!" But even flustered, Gwen's truthfulness couldn't be pushed too far. "Well all right, maybe thieves aren't your thing. But that's okay, isn't it? It just means you're a nice, honest person. I mean. Probably?"

Merlin thought he might be taking too much satisfaction in seeing Arthur have his shiny prattish head rubbed into the dusty lino of the lecture room floor to qualify as a nice person, but he appreciated the thought. 

"Right, I've had enough of you lot," Morgana said, dismantling her GM screen and piling up her books. "You can find some other sucker to run your sad little game, I'm going to join Morgause in 'Macho Women With Guns'. I was _born_ to play a character with the 'Run in High Heels' skill."

She'd almost reached the door when Gwaine struggled out far enough from underneath Arthur to lift up his head and ask, "Can I join?"

"Traitor," Leon mumbled but Merlin was pretty sure it was just because Gwaine beat him to it.

"Girls only," Morgana said, far too sweetly, and swept out. 

"You're in there, mate," said Arthur, and pushed Gwaine's face into the floor.

* * * 

_There was a young cleric from Freeling  
Whose mission was succour and healing.  
His prayers were a bust  
As his god wasn't fussed  
No matter how long he stayed kneeling._

"I hate you," Merlin said when he saw Arthur's scribble across his new character sheet. That was the last time he was leaving it on the table while he went to the snack machines.

"I thought it was pretty good for two minutes' work." Arthur smirked, and Merlin threw a putty rubber at him.

"Shut up!" Gwaine shouted from the head of the table, and the room quietened. "Now, things are bad, but you can still salvage something in this village. What do you want to do with the bodies?"

Merlin winced. His cleric powers had failed to save six peasants from the plague that had already wiped out the rest of their village. It was almost unheard of for someone to roll six critical failures in a row. By the time he'd rolled the last dice there had been a dozen spectators from the neighbouring games down the corridor as word had quickly spread – courtesy of Percy texting his girlfriend next door every five minutes, no doubt -- that Merlin was making even a worse mess of his dice rolls than usual.

Yeah, there was nothing like the pressure of eighteen people holding their breath to help you make an important last chance roll. Bastards.

So he had sort of killed six NPCs. Six NPCs who might have had the crucial info they needed for the next part of the quest.

"We'll search the bodies," Arthur said, and folded his arms, not looking to see if anyone was going to dare argue.

"Er--" Merlin gulped. This wasn't going to go down well. "My god doesn't allow those who wield cold steel to touch the deceased. It's a sacred act, tending the dead."

Arthur stared at him. "Are you telling me, Merlin, that out of the four hundred or so gods in those rulebooks, you had your priest follow the one that right now means you -- who can curse dice just by existing in the same dimension -- _you_ are the only one who can roll to search these bodies for our clue?"

"Um," Merlin said. "Yes?"

"I vote we kill the priest," said Leon, or rather his dwarf smuggler Gunga 'no I don't smuggle dwarves, so stop asking' Dinna did. "Nobody will know, we can toss him in the plague pit."

"Thanks for that," Merlin said, and Leon shrugged. 

"I can't kill a priest," Arthur said between clenched teeth. "I'm a bloody Paladin, you moron."

"I'm sure Merlin's luck can only get better," Gwen said, and that was one of the things Merlin loved about her -- her unfailing loyalty. Also her optimism.

Her sadly misplaced optimism, as it turned out.

"You don't find anything, your quest to save the kingdom is over and you all die of the plague over the next few weeks, the end," Gwaine said, throwing his dice and books into his rucksack while Arthur banged his forehead on the table. Merlin was just grateful it wasn't _his_ forehead. "Thankfully there's a pint and a lovely lass from Media Studies waiting for me in the bar, so cheers for that, Merlin."

"No problem mate," Merlin said weakly, and shoved his jacket under Arthur's head before he damaged what little brain he had. "Come on, Arthur, you can help me make a new character for Lance's game."

"A wizard," Arthur said firmly, lifting his head out of Merlin's jacket just far enough to speak, but leaving half his face in there. If Merlin didn't know better he'd think Arthur was _sniffing_ it, but even Arthur wasn't that weird. "You've played _everything_ else. It's the only thing left."

"He likes you really," Gwen mouthed over Arthur's head, but Merlin thought even friendship had its limits, never mind what he wanted. 

"Change the bloody record, Arthur," Merlin sighed, and opened the Player's Guide yet again.

* * * 

_There once was a bard of renown  
Whose tales made everyone frown  
His songs were off key  
But his breakfasts were free  
From the fruit that was constantly thrown_

"Doesn't rhyme," Merlin said sulkily, and turned the character sheet over. 

"Don't be so picky." Arthur nudged him with his elbow. "Come on, _Merlin_ , you know it's just a joke."

"Well, maybe I don't think it's so funny any more, _Arthur_."

Arthur stared at him. "Merlin? Come on, mate." 

The conversation lulled in the rest of the room, and Merlin realised everyone was listening to them. He could feel his cheeks flush red, though whether it was the embarrassment of making a scene or the constant humiliation of Arthur making fun of him, he couldn't say. He didn't even know why it bothered him-- except maybe it was that Arthur didn't treat anyone else in quite the same way.

"Do we need to take five, guys?" Lance asked. "Probably a good time for a bar break if you want one?" Merlin nodded, glad that he could trust Lance to keep things under control. 

"Maybe, I--." Merlin couldn't take being in the room with Arthur any longer, and stood up. "I'm going to get some air," he said, packing his gear away. Just in case. "Carry on without me if I don't come back, just let my bard have an early night, okay?"

Lance nodded, and Merlin avoided looking at Arthur as he managed to walk rather than bolt out of the room.

He'd planned on heading to the roof, but he realised when he glanced at his watch that it was only just past nine, and the smokers would be congregating up there for another ten minutes at least. There was more air now that he was out of that lecture room anyway, but if everyone was heading to the bar then he needed to move in the opposite direction fast, or he'd be caught in the middle of the rush.

There was a small unused office at the end of the next corridor that was usually unlocked, and Merlin was heading there when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Merlin," Arthur said. "Lance thought we should talk. I--" He stopped as Merlin sighed and turned to face him.

"Good speech," Merlin said when Arthur didn't seem to have anything else to add. He made to turn away, but Arthur grabbed his arm. 

"What do you _want_ , Arthur?" Merlin shouted. Arthur's grip loosened on his arm, probably in shock, but he didn't let go.

"I want you to play a wizard," Arthur said, but he wouldn't look Merlin in the eye. 

"But why?"

Arthur swallowed, and then, at last, looked straight at Merlin. "My new character, Lord Eldrek? He's not really a common lord. He's a prince. My last one, the Paladin? Secretly a prince."

Merlin opened his mouth, but nothing came out. That was… a little weird, even for Arthur. 

"Almost every character I've played in the last eight months has had the same back story," Arthur said. "Thank god we keep switching GMs, because they'd think I have some sort of complex by now."

"I think you probably _have_ got some sort of complex, Arthur," Merlin grumbled. "I don't see how that's my problem." Though he was starting to have a suspicion. A strange, extremely unlikely suspicion. But still…

"What I want, Merlin," Arthur continued, still keeping his gaze on Merlin's face, "is for you get rid of your useless bard and create a squire, or maybe a--" Merlin held his breath. "Maybe a servant, even. Only, he'd just be playing the part of a servant or a squire, while really, he's a--"

"... wizard," Merlin finished. 

"Yes." 

"You've had the dreams too," Merlin said, and even though it must be true, he still couldn't quite believe it. Those thoughts, those fantasies -- he'd even thought they were memories a couple of times, because there was that whole incident with the levitating Physics textbooks that he was trying not to think about, as well as a few other things -- Arthur had dreamed them too. But that was impossible, wasn't it?

"I knew it." Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's arm, but the last thing Merlin was thinking of was pulling away. "I knew you must have. Sometimes you say things, or there's a look--"

"We must have seen the same film, watched something," Merlin said. "There'll be a rational explanation, you'll see." But Arthur's face was moving closer to his, and he didn't have any spare thoughts or feelings for rational explanations. His life had always been short on those to begin with.

"I don't care," Arthur said, and closed the gap between them. His lips were soft, much softer than they looked, and Merlin could overlook the faint hint of dry toasted peanuts and beer on his breath, because it wasn't like he was perfectly minty-breathed for a first kiss either. 

It was typical of Arthur to ambush him like this. He was going to have to be very nice indeed to Merlin to make up for it. Fortunately Merlin had a list he'd been working on for some time. 

"Oh god," Merlin gasped when Arthur pulled away to look at him. " _Yes_. Anything you like. Just do that again."

Arthur huffed in surprise. "You'll do it? You'll play a servant and let me boss you around?" 

Arthur looked far too pleased with himself and there was a gleam in his eye that Merlin wasn't sure he liked, so he shook his head. "I'll play a wizard – okay, yes, a _secret_ wizard – and I'll let you boss _him_ around. But they'll have to be friends, because I don't see a wizard making a good servant, do you?"

"Oh, I think we can do better than friends," Arthur said, and kissed him again.

* * * 

_There was a young wizard by calling  
Whose luck was simply appalling  
Till he kissed his best mate  
And found out it was fate--_

Merlin cleared his throat and Arthur froze, the pencil in his hand just lifting off to go to the next line. He could see the thoughts visibly cross Arthur's mind, balancing how much he wanted to finish it against how pissed off Merlin would be, and how badly it might affect his chances of going home with Merlin tonight. He could even identify, when he spotted a split second wince, the point where Arthur considered the lecture on relationships he'd get from Morgana when he arrived home alone.

Even so, Merlin was surprised when Arthur sighed and pushed his character sheet back over to him. Arthur even flattened it out, and neatly rubbed out the doodle he'd scribbled in one corner -- he'd probably spent a few moments too long thinking of a rhyme, and that was why he hadn't finished. Or more likely Gwaine had been getting him to catch peanuts in his mouth again. Arthur never could say no to free peanuts, especially if they came with a round of applause.

Merlin looked at the limerick and couldn't help it when his mouth twitched in a smile. This one was a little bit different from Arthur's usual teasing rhymes. The last line might even-- oh, what the hell.

Merlin put his hand on the character sheet and slowly, carefully slid it back along the table to Arthur.

After all, he had to find out how it ended.

*** END ***


End file.
